Need to Vent!

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I swore I was only going to put good stuff on my blog, but I really to need to vent. It's too darned early to bend any of my friends ears or my son John who is probably still snoring, lol.

My daughter just walked out leaving her daughter behind. All because I will not allow her new boyfriend move in. Now mind you I'm the idiot who let my granddaughter's father stay with us for a while because he had no where to go when his parents tossed him. Well, we all know the results of that. My beautiful little lady, Anna. I love my granddaughter and will do what is necessary to make sure she's safe but I still blame myself for my dd getting pregnant.

My dd met her boyfriend at work just 2 weeks ago. Now first I wasn't happy because my dd is 20 and he's 31. At 31 years old he's working at McDonalds, living with his sister and has a son he not allowed to see.

First it was can Sean stay for a couple of days because his sister went away and he forgot his key. Being the idiot I am I said okay but just a few days and knowing he likes to drink I had one rule. He does not come here drunk. My oldest son Buddy is a drinker and even he is not allowed here if he's drunk. I'm no prude by any means, I have no problem with someone wanting to have a couple of drinks after work but getting drunk is another matter entirely. I grew up with an alcoholic father and I won't put up with that lifestyle as an adult.

Well, the first night Sean stayed here it happened to be payday. You know what happened, he went straight to the bar. That's after his sister chased him down for the rent money. He came in here and both my daughter and Sean insisted he wasn't drunk. Hmm... considering he kept speaking with the fake Irish accent, I'd say he was drunk. I let it go but told my dd in the morning, not again. Last night of course Sean went to the bar and was there several hours. I refused to let him in. The 2 of them kept insisting he wasn't drunk. I don't care what they said he wasn't coming in, end of story.

I have no idea where those 2 spent the night and my dd seems to have no concern where her daughter was. Granted she knows Anna was here with me but that's beside the point. All night they tried to get me to "discuss" the situation. I flat out refused, there's nothing to discuss. I had a rule, you didn't listen. My daughter even came up here telling me Sean was promising not to drink anymore. And as she's telling me this she's getting his 4 bottles of beer of the fridge because he wanted it. Say what?

My daughter just walked out my door telling me I'm behaving like a 2-year old. I'm behaving like a 2-year old and yet my daughter just walked out the door leaving her daughter behind! And this was while Anna was holding her arms up to her mother to be held. I made her give me her key to the apartment since she's so determined to stay with Sean.

I'm having a hard time understanding this whole situation. I did not raise my daughter to be so selfish and uncaring. Maybe in some way it is my fault. I've always put my daughter's needs ahead of mine. That's how my Mom was and I feel it's the way you should be. Your children come first! It doesn't help that my daughter was diagnosed as bipolar, refuses to take the meds or see a therapist.

My concern right now is for my granddaughter. I'm going to have to find out Monday what I can do to get legal custody. I hate to do such a thing and take Anna away from Heather but I'm really worried. I don't want Anna to have to be around someone who gets drunk every night. I lived that life and it's not a pretty one.

Wow, it feels good just to type and vent. I've found that if I type or write everything out I can stand back and get a fresh perspective. That and it allows me to calm down and cool off! For the most part I'm easy going and laid back, until I get ticked off. Just ask my dd how many dishes I've broken over the years LOL. Which is why I'm typing away like mad. Anna is awake and playing nicely doesn't need to see Mom-Mom have a tantrum.

Well, Anna is going to get outside to play for a while. I need to go buy my cancer sticks (cigs) and Diet Pepsi so I may as well keep on walking and take her to the park for while to play. She loves it there and the walk will do me good.