He's Still A Kid At Heart!

Well, leave it to my oldest son to get his mother laughing! He sent me this picture on Saturday when I have feeling kind of icky. Only Buddy could come up with Gilligan for Halloween and actually pull it off!

I used the following from ScrapGirls:

MAD_Sketch2Ro_Neutral_Shadows2801EHI_FamilyTies_12x12_Solid-TaupeGHU_Rustic-Crush_Special-3_PaperABR_DirtRoad_Emb_Frame1 (recolored)ABR_DirtRoad_Emb_Circle_RedBHA_Stylize_Embell1_RibbonABR_ScenicRoute_EmbMini_Wrap3ABR_ScenicRouth_12x12_Paper_OrangeTY_SS_Emb_PumpkinSMRoundTextureABR_DirtRoad_Emb_Star_GreenABR_DirtRoad_Emb_Star_OrangeFont: Comic Sans

I've been stuck in a real rut lately but hopefully between my little lady's smile and going back on Effexor I'll be back to my crazy self again. I stopped taking the Effexor last year and should not have. I'm just going to have to get used to the idea that, yes, I really do need it. I had taken for 4 years and made the horrible mistake of stopping it without tapering off. Bad move! The withdrawl was NASTY! Oh well, back up to 6 prescriptions a day. I guess that's better than the 9 I took after my heart surgery.

A Little Less Drama

Well, it's been a weird week. After all that yelling and screaming my daughter broke it off with Sean the drunk. At least I think she did!? She started talking to some old friends and I thought she was actually going to start going out once in a while. That hasn't happened yet and now she's still talking about Sean. As long as she knows he's not welcomed here. He really managed to get on my bad side. It's very rare for me to not allow someone into my home, I'm usually too forgiving and easy going. Sean knows though how I feel about him and knows I know exactly what kind of person he is; which probably explains why he is so terrified of this old lady.

He had my daughter to the point where she truly thought he was the only one who cared about her. All this happened way to quick too. In spite of the fact that Sean spent his entire pay in 2 days in the bar and I had $100.00 go missing, my daughter doesn't (or refuses) to see it.

I tried explaining to my daughter what life was like for my friend Cathy who lived with my brother John. I have a name for him I can't repeat and not get banned from the blog site. Yes, my own brother! In spite of my brother Cathy is one of my best friends and a wonderful mother to my niece and nephew. You see my brother used to do the same things to Cathy. John was 10 years older than her and thought he found a real sucker. My brother John would clear no less than $600.00 a week but Cathy and the kids never saw it. Cathy had to live on welfare to provide for the children. I tried explaining at the time to Cathy that there was no way all that money went to the bar in just a few days; that there was drugs involved. Cathy didn't believe me until the night my brother came home and put a shotgun to his children's heads (they were 2 and 4 at the time). Fortunately Cathy was able to get away without harm. I do not want to see something like this happen to my daughter and this Sean has my brother written all over him.

As a matter of fact my brother dared to contact me last year after not seeing or having anything do to with his children in 10 years. He's been in hiding so he wouldn't have to pay child support. Well his first mistake was calling me! He actually had the gall to ask me to sneak his kids up to see him. Little did he know the first time I called him I was calling from Cathy's! I just simply blocked her number. I kept in contact with that jerk for 2 months until I finally got his address out him. Cathy and the kids not only get child support now but got 10 years back support! My brother is so stupid, he knows that when it comes to children I will ALWAYS put them first. If I thought he deserved to see them I'd would have had no problem approaching Cathy about it. But John is still drinking and using drugs, so forget it.

Even my life was not easy living with an alcoholic father who also suffered with schizophrenia. In spite of the stories my daughter just don't listen. I worry that she's going to find out the hard way but there's little I can do about, other than making sure my granddaughter is safe. My daughter did talk to me though about taking custody of Anna. My daughter realizes she has problems that are going to take a long time to overcome.

Now to find out how I go about becoming Anna's legal guardian without having to hire a lawyer. I don't mind at all, I love Anna dearly.

I did do a digi layout this week. With all this worrying about bipolar etc. it made me start thinking of my Dad who took his own life in December 2000. It was left up to me to make the decision to remove his life support. I found a great poem online written by Christine M. Butz that said it much than I could.

The credits are:

Andrea Gold Template 107 ; Scrap Girls: TKA_FireStation_12x12_Concrete_SPECBHA_Stylize_Special_12x12_Crumpled (recolored)SNU_ACollageUnleashed_Emb2_Flw-BlkBVA_CollageStamped_Brush SetPoem: Written by Christine M. Butz

And with that enough said for today!

Need to Vent!

Read here to join the party.

I swore I was only going to put good stuff on my blog, but I really to need to vent. It's too darned early to bend any of my friends ears or my son John who is probably still snoring, lol.

My daughter just walked out leaving her daughter behind. All because I will not allow her new boyfriend move in. Now mind you I'm the idiot who let my granddaughter's father stay with us for a while because he had no where to go when his parents tossed him. Well, we all know the results of that. My beautiful little lady, Anna. I love my granddaughter and will do what is necessary to make sure she's safe but I still blame myself for my dd getting pregnant.

My dd met her boyfriend at work just 2 weeks ago. Now first I wasn't happy because my dd is 20 and he's 31. At 31 years old he's working at McDonalds, living with his sister and has a son he not allowed to see.

First it was can Sean stay for a couple of days because his sister went away and he forgot his key. Being the idiot I am I said okay but just a few days and knowing he likes to drink I had one rule. He does not come here drunk. My oldest son Buddy is a drinker and even he is not allowed here if he's drunk. I'm no prude by any means, I have no problem with someone wanting to have a couple of drinks after work but getting drunk is another matter entirely. I grew up with an alcoholic father and I won't put up with that lifestyle as an adult.

Well, the first night Sean stayed here it happened to be payday. You know what happened, he went straight to the bar. That's after his sister chased him down for the rent money. He came in here and both my daughter and Sean insisted he wasn't drunk. Hmm... considering he kept speaking with the fake Irish accent, I'd say he was drunk. I let it go but told my dd in the morning, not again. Last night of course Sean went to the bar and was there several hours. I refused to let him in. The 2 of them kept insisting he wasn't drunk. I don't care what they said he wasn't coming in, end of story.

I have no idea where those 2 spent the night and my dd seems to have no concern where her daughter was. Granted she knows Anna was here with me but that's beside the point. All night they tried to get me to "discuss" the situation. I flat out refused, there's nothing to discuss. I had a rule, you didn't listen. My daughter even came up here telling me Sean was promising not to drink anymore. And as she's telling me this she's getting his 4 bottles of beer of the fridge because he wanted it. Say what?

My daughter just walked out my door telling me I'm behaving like a 2-year old. I'm behaving like a 2-year old and yet my daughter just walked out the door leaving her daughter behind! And this was while Anna was holding her arms up to her mother to be held. I made her give me her key to the apartment since she's so determined to stay with Sean.

I'm having a hard time understanding this whole situation. I did not raise my daughter to be so selfish and uncaring. Maybe in some way it is my fault. I've always put my daughter's needs ahead of mine. That's how my Mom was and I feel it's the way you should be. Your children come first! It doesn't help that my daughter was diagnosed as bipolar, refuses to take the meds or see a therapist.

My concern right now is for my granddaughter. I'm going to have to find out Monday what I can do to get legal custody. I hate to do such a thing and take Anna away from Heather but I'm really worried. I don't want Anna to have to be around someone who gets drunk every night. I lived that life and it's not a pretty one.

Wow, it feels good just to type and vent. I've found that if I type or write everything out I can stand back and get a fresh perspective. That and it allows me to calm down and cool off! For the most part I'm easy going and laid back, until I get ticked off. Just ask my dd how many dishes I've broken over the years LOL. Which is why I'm typing away like mad. Anna is awake and playing nicely doesn't need to see Mom-Mom have a tantrum.

Well, Anna is going to get outside to play for a while. I need to go buy my cancer sticks (cigs) and Diet Pepsi so I may as well keep on walking and take her to the park for while to play. She loves it there and the walk will do me good.